hey everyone, i’d like to make a public apology to you all. its not really anything personal, although i am directing it to some people at the same itme. i want to say i’m truly sorry for doing the worst thing i could do as an artist.
i stopped trying. over the years, ive become more and more bound to my habits, and my tendencies to go for easy things.
i stopped growing, and have kind of been stagnating despite token efforts to experiment with my style. i’d kind of given up on getting better at art, and trying my hardest to improve. to me, that wasn’t important anymore. i was just content to coast on mediocre efforts.
and i’m sorry for that. it’s an apology to my friends, and everyone who’s supported me and my personal growth. beyond art, it’s settled into other areas of my life, and it wasn’t until recently that i got a wake-up call from my failure to do work for paradox space, and from my girlfriend who rightfully called me out on it.
i won’t get into specifics, but i failed because i didn’t try hard enough, pure and simple. even if i failed in the end despite trying, to keep going in the face of adversity would have been far better than just giving up weakly.
i didn’t try hard enough, and it made me fail when i needed to succeed the most. i messed up, and i’ve been slowly ruining myself for a long while without any real progress.
and so, with that wake-up call, i want to promise that from now on i’ll do my best to try harder, and be a better artist and person with every picture. i can’t guarantee a picture every day, and i can’t guarantee that they’ll all be good.
heck, this is kinda messy when you look at it
but no matter what, i’ll try my hardest to always do better. i don’t just owe it to the people who care about me, but myself as well. it’s not gonna be easy, but as long as the people who care believe in me i’ll keep doing whatever i can.
thanks for following me, and thanks for believing. it means a lot to me, during this low point.